Dec 26, 2008!

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• Dec 26, 2008

  our life

  Current mood:grateful

  Hey guys its me! lol like who else could it be hahaha...anyway...Just kinda wanted to ramble for awhile so here it goes: My wonderful husband has returned from the sandbox aka Iraq. We have to now readjust to normal life, if that even exsists. Not only do I have to get used to sharing everything again we have to get used to a cut in pay a MAJOR cut in pay...I feel like we are growing out of this house by the minute lol....We so badly want to get pregnant this year! I am pretty excited though because this time maybe we can time it right, if the government will allow lol. We don't see any deployments for the 2009 but 2010 is still up in the air. Woody feels like he will go again he just doesn't know when. And this time it will probably be Afghanistan. So just keep us in your prayers please. Other than all that we are doing awesome! We have stayed at home with each other since we got home at 11:30pm on the 23rd with the exception of me going to McDonalds once. We went grocery shopping today for the first time in a year...wow..it blew my mind how expensive things are. I have to re-learn how to shop agian. You know its not just the troops re-intergrating into civialin world its also the spouses re-integrating into married life!!
  
  Well I wish everyone a safe and prosporus(however you spell that lol) year!!
  
  
  

Amazing what we take for granted....written Oct 2008

I found this with a couple others on my MySpace page!

Oct 18, 2008

Amazing what we take for granted

Current mood:blessed

Isn't it amazing what we take for granted each and everyday? I was driving home tonight from my moms..who had made a very good dinner..absolutley delicious. I noticed this cute little house that pass each and every time I go to my mom's house. But tonight it looked so cute..the lights in the living room where on and its chilly outside. And that got me to thinking...how nice it would be to snuggle with my husband..feel his lips touch mine. I miss my husband very much. I want to be in our house where we can snuggle on the couch together...

July 2007- he left to go to New Mexico and do boarder patrol
August 2007- We were told that he would be sent to Iraq
Sept 2007- This is the last full month that we got to spend together.
Oct 2007- Got his active duty orders to go to FT Chaffey also the same month we found out we were pregnant.
Dec 2007- Dec 4th had a DNC to remove our baby from my uterus, Dec 21st had a two week break together
Jan 2008- stationed at Camp Shelby MS
March 2008- Got to spend 5 days with him, then he left for Iraq.
This time alone has absolutley made me a stronger person, I was a weak weak little girl before this. I couldn't communicate exactly how I was feeling. I felt alone, I felt like I wasn't loved by my own husband. But most of that was my own insecurities.
Aug 2008- opened up to my husband....I cried and cried this month....
Sept 2008- Found the Lord, learned that the battle isn't with the other person. The battle is with yourself. I have learned that you must have full trust in the Lord that he will take care of your problems if you live your life through him. I love my husband with all my heart.
Dec 2008- This will be the best month of the whole year!! My sexy husband will be home. We can start our family.
I thank the Lord everynight for my husband, that he is strong enough to go to war zone and still be strong enough to love his wife...with all her problems! I pray for God to keep his strong while he is over there to keep it up, so we can work on it more.

I love you woodrow j boblett III with all my heart and I can't wait until you come home and hold me. I need you.

Letting go...of emotional baggage! =)

So, its only taken me 4 years to get to this point. However, I believe holding the anger, jealousy and resentment for the people who choose to have kids "when I think they shouldn't" is just holding me back. Its not for me to say that they are not RIGHT where they are supposed to be! Things happen to people for a reason, I really have no idea why we aren't pregnant after 5 years of trying and one miscarriage 4 years ago. 

I will have to say that this is the hardest journey that I EVER been on. I LOVE my life right now.

It was really hard for me to come to this point. I do realize that I have to let go of this anger I have. Its hard for me to admit that I am angry, jealous, and most of all heart broken. I know that we will be blessed with a bundle of joy at some time. Right now, we just keep living. We keep on going on........and one day I will scream from the roof tops of our joy!

Ok...I just cant do it!

On 7/6/2012, I posted that I would not be peeing on any more sticks. WELLLL.....I can't help it. I can't "give up" so to speak. I have found a closed Facebook group that is all about women TTC and having problems, where belly pics and complaining about how uncomfortable you are is NOT ALLOWED.

I can't just turn off the want to have a baby. I believe that its in "most" women's DNA.

 I was told by a local PA that unless I lost a lot of weight that I would NEVER become a mother. That's just absurd! That right there should have been a HUGE red flag! However, I trusted the PA and the Dr. she worked for. Therefore, I battled with diets....which never work. You should never be on a diet where you can't have certain things.

Anyway, saw another Dr. who told me as long as long as I am ovulating that really my weight doesn't matter in the conception process. She prescribed me Clomid as I was not ovulating at the right time. Well I took it once and since then I have been ovulating ON TIME! =) Next step, will be to get my husbands semen analysis done so we can make sure our swimmers are good enough! 

I am overwhelmed by the out pour of support that I have got since voicing my journey!

Yes, I am aware that a healthy weight helps create a healthy baby. However, I have saw women who are a lot bigger than I am go on to have healthy happy babies! 

So, I will continue to pee on my OPK's. I will continue to walk/jog my 4 miles a day 6 days a week. I will continue this journey until I reach my goal!!!

I WILL NOT GIVE UP!!!! I will try to not stress out about it. I will try my best to make my surrounding the best for conception!

I am SO done........for now atleast......

07/6/12

I am just tired. Sick and tired of peeing on a stick, timing sex, waiting two weeks, just to be let down by my body. I am done. 

As of today, I am not peeing on anymore sticks. Feels kinda weird to actually be saying it. Its almost like an obsession. I still want our family more than I have ever wanted anything in my life. However, I have got to live in the NOW. I am going to enjoy the life that God has provided for me. After all, tomorrow isn't promised, only today.

I truly value all my friends and my family. I love that each one contributes to my life, whether they know it or not. I love that my husband can still love me, even though we have been unsuccessful in our journey.  4 1/2 years is a long time to work for something that you can't obtain. No one will ever understand unless you have walked in my shoes. As much as you want to, there is no way you ever will. 


I thought I was doing good today, until we went to dinner and had such a great time. Its hard to imagine that you get lost in what your trying to accomplish that you loose that. If you say you haven't then your lying. At some point and time, we have to step back.

I suspect a dog and maybe a cat will be in our near future lol.

First cycle!

Ok so I actually ovulated on day 14!!! I know that some women ovulate later sometimes day 16 or 17 and have healthy babies. However, I was told by my Dr. That it's ideal for me to ovulate on day 14. Now, with that being said, I have been walking 2-4 miles a day 6 days a week. I think that has made a huge difference. That coupled with a lack of stress. We baby danced the night before and I laid completely flat and went to sleep. I read where pineapple juice is supposed to help the egg actually implant into the uterus. So we will see. I am really trying to not get excited. It's just hard not too.

Here is too the Two Week Wait!

Hello stress free enviroment, is this possible?

Ok, so as of last Saturday the 9th of June, I completed my FIRST week as a housewife. I am not real sure how things used to get done, oh that's right they DIDN'T until I just couldn't stand it anymore lol. Its so strange. While I am resposible for keeping the house clean and paying the bills, my life has become a WHOLE lot less stressful. I LOVE getting to laugh when my husband and I take a walk. I LOVE not being worried about where our money is coming from.

How wonderful is it to have this freedom!!!! I most of the time, don't even wear any makeup. What a freeing experience. To know, that my husband has taken all the responsibility to himself to help relieve my stress and hopefully start our family. For once, he has put ME first! He acknowledged last night that when we first got married (7 years ago in August) that I was not his priority. He did what he wanted to do regardless of my wants or needs. It felt good to hear that. I needed that. I know a lot of ya'll who read this don't know me from Eve. I didn't become a "worrier" till we started TTC'n. This journey has changed me in ways. I look at others whom are pregnant and think ok, my situation is much more stable then theirs, why not us? What must we do in order to achieve this?

This JUDGEMENT is NOT fair. Who am I to judge? What makes me any better than anyone else? NOTHING.....I am NO better than anyone else. I want to so badly to be happy for pregnant people. I have been praying that God, will help me put my shield down. Help me move passed this, move passed being so bitter.I believe that he will...I believe that he already has. I just have to open up and be happy with MY life NOW and be in the NOW not looking down the road saying WHEN will it be MY turn.

DISCLAIMER: I know a few great ladies that are pregnant right now. This is NOT directed at anyone. In the last 4 YEARS, I have struggled with this. This is my way of dealing with MY issues. This is MY blog.